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3 The New Job - Riverboat Justice
Copyright 1992, 1994 by Dorian Scott Cole
INT. RIVERBOAT CASINO - DAY
Adrian and Dino walk through the crowded casino. Dino takes an amulet
from around his neck, spins it, lets it stop, looks at it then goes to
a slot machine. As he pulls the handle down, Adrian grabs him by the collar
and pulls him out.
INT. RIVERBOAT ENTERTAINMENT OFFICE - DAY
Cecillia is leaning over a filing cabinet, filing. Adrian and Dino stand
in the doorway and admire. After a moment she senses she is being watched
and looks at them.
CECILLIA
Can I help you?
ADRIAN
I understand you're looking for
entertainers.
CECILLIA
I only have one opening.
Adrian and Dino look at each other and mouth the word "one." She offers
them chairs, one in front of her desk and one in the corner, and she sits
behind her desk. Adrian and Dino try to sit in the same chair, in front
of her desk, and end up sharing it back to back.
CECILLIA
OK, tell me about yourselves. You
escaped from where?
ADRIAN
Tucson.
DINO
We design things that kill people.
ADRIAN
But we hide them well.
DINO
Military things.
CECILLIA
So you're engineers, and you want to be entertainers..... OK. What brings
you to St. Louis? Your horoscope?
DINO
Motorcycles.
ADRIAN
Don't pay any attention to him. He
was brain damaged by psychoactive drugs. We put it in the warheads.
I used to live here when I was a kid.
CECILLIA
Oh, so you have family here?
ADRIAN
No, they're all dead.
DINO
He poisoned them all.
Cecillia bites her lip and looks down, stifling a chuckle. Adrian elbows
Dino and he falls off the chair. He gets back on the chair.
ADRIAN
He's like that some days....
Psychoactive drugs.
CECILLIA
Just what kind of entertainment
do you do? Comedy?
ADRIAN
I'm a magician.
DINO
I'm a stand-up comic. I'm better.
CECILLIA
Do you have experience?
DINO
I worked my way through college as a comic.
ADRIAN
He flunked out. I worked my way
through high school and college.
DINO
He was kicked out of both.
CECILLIA
We have an audition set up for tonight at eight. Could you make that?
ADRIAN
Will there be an audience?
CECILLIA
Ship's crew. Maybe a few diners.
ADRIAN
Great! I'll find some props.
CECILLIA
You will be competing against each other. I only have one opening.
ADRIAN
Really? I must have missed that.
Dino gets up and goes around the desk.
DINO
Can I talk to you privately? Is there a brig in the bottom of this ship?
CECILLIA
Boat. You want to be on a ship,
join the Navy.
DINO
He's an escape artist and I want to lock him up. Seven thirty - it can
be part of his act.
ADRIAN
Hey, no way. Last time you melted
solder in the lock and it wouldn't open.
Never trust this guy. Never.
Cecillia looks at the two of them.
CECILLIA
You two ever work together? You're such a team - a funny team. How about
a magic, comedy act? Novel.
Think you could pull that off?
ADRIAN
Sure, we could be a team. He can carry my props.
Dino comes from around the desk and pushes him toward the door.
DINO
Come on, get out of here - we got the audition.
See you at eight.
INT. RIVERBOAT'S ENTERTAINMENT ROOM BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Cecillia is looking at her watch. A pianist is just finishing his act.
Adrian and Dino rush in dressed in a magician and assistant's clothing.
CECILLIA
Are you always this punctual?
DINO
Oh.... Always.
CECILLIA
I was afraid of that. It's time for you to go on. Who shall I introduce
you as?
ADRIAN
Marlin and Heckler.
CECILLIA
Don't you mean Merlin? Merlin was a magician. Marlin is a game fish.
ADRIAN
Marlin. What would you expect in a magic comedy act on a boat?
INT. RIVERBOAT ENTERTAINMENT LOUNGE - NIGHT
Cecillia enters the stage to introduce the act to the small audience.
Captain Nelson is present. Marlin goes on stage, but stays behind her to
one side or the other, annoying her.
CECILLIA
This next act is a fresh new magic comedy act. Marlin and Heckler.
She turns to present Heckler's entrance, but Heckler approaches from the
audience. She throws up her hands in despair and leaves the stage.
HECKLER
This is my first and last magic act with you. I'm getting off this boat
at the next port.
MARLIN
Why? This is your first cruise.
HECKLER
I saw you in the pilot house. The Pilot was letting you steer.
MARLIN
You're jealous.
HECKLER
The boat was going down the river
sideways!
MARLIN
I was just getting a feel for it.
HECKLER
I suppose going backwards was part of of getting a feel for it. Is this
a ballet?
Pirouetting down the river?
MARLIN
Pirouettes take enormous skill.
This is destiny.
HECKLER
You were born to be a riverboat pilot?
MARLIN
I was born to make you disappear.
It's the only way to shut you up.
HECKLER
All right, do it. Make me disappear. Put me into the ether somewhere, and
don't expect me to support any of your flimflam tricks either. If you hide
me in the back of some box, I'll let everyone see me.
MARLIN
They don't want to see you, they came to see me. Now, just stand right
there.
HECKLER
Aren't you going to put me in a box?
MARLIN
Do you want to be in a box?
HECKLER
No, I just thought I had to be in a box.
Marlin pulls out a scarlet curtain on a circular frame. The interior is
black.
HECKLER
What is that?
MARLIN
It's a curtain. I'm going to wrap the
curtain around you and when I take it down, you will be gone.
Heckler looks down and stomps on the floor, looking for a trap door. Heckler
has an audience member come up and check out the curtain and the floor,
then the person goes back to his seat. The lights dim, and a spot light
comes on illuminating Marlin and Heckler. Marlin then pulls the scarlet
curtain ceremoniously around Heckler. Marlin takes out a sword.
MARLIN
Are you there?
HECKLER
Of course, you fraud.
MARLIN
This should shut you up!
He sticks the sword through the curtain in several places, then releases
the top of the curtain from the frame and the curtain falls to the ground.
Marlin steps into the empty frame and takes a bow. Marlin shoves the frame
to one side.
MARLIN
Are you there?
HECKLER
When are you going to do the trick?
MARLIN
(to audience)
Is he here?
AUDIENCE
No.
MARLIN
See, you don't even know where you are.
HECKLER
All I have to do is walk through this
curtain. See, I'll show everyone... Oh!
Where am I? I can't see anyone.
MARLIN
You're in the ether, you're nowhere, just where you belong.
HECKLER
Well get me back! This isn't funny, bring me back.
MARLIN
Bringing you back is a lot more difficult. What's in it for me?
HECKLER
I'll... fix you up with Mary.
MARLIN
No way, that lady sucks the ink out of pens. She has a blue tongue. Last
date you had with her, you came home covered in blue polka dots from head
to toe.
HECKLER
You're just jealous.
ADRIAN
Tell you what, I'll bring you back if you admit I made you disappear.
HECKLER
OK, you did it! Now bring me back to reality!
MARLIN
Now there's a challenge!
I'm going to reach out and you take my hand and I'll pull
you back to reality.
HECKLER
I don't see your hand.
MARLIN
You have to believe. Just reach out
and take my hand.
Marlin makes magical movements and fluorescent lights fade on, with strobes,
reflecting off fluorescent colors in the curtains. Marlin bends on one
knee, reaches to the side and slightly upward, making summoning motions.
After a moment a hand is in his. He pulls slowly toward him and Heckler
slowly appears as if being pulled from nowhere. (See END for trick description.)
Captain Nelson claps loudly with the rest, rises from his seat and approaches
the stage to shake their hands.
NELSON
Adrian? What are you doing in this
magic act? I've been waiting for your call.
ADRIAN
Captain Nelson -
CECILLIA
You know these two? I was about to offer them a job.
NELSON
Yes, Adrian is a friend of mine.
(To Adrian)
I was expecting a call - I had no idea you would take me up on it so soon.
ADRIAN
Things uncomplicated themselves in a hurry. Actually I was considering
a career change - I'm tired of the rules of war.
NELSON
Then you're serious about this magic act?
Adrian nods.
NELSON
If that's what you really want, why didn't you come straight to me? I would
have given you just about any job on the boat.
ADRIAN
I wanted to see if Dino and I still had it.
CECILLIA
You two are full of it. Captain, having these two cheese balls on board
will be like having two kittens around.
Cecillia grabs Adrian around the neck.
NELSON
This one here is like a son to me. His daddy and I used to ride together
back when we were motorcycle cops.
INT. RIVERBOAT'S HOLD - DAY
Captain Nelson is giving Adrian and Dino a tour of the boat.
NELSON
This is the hold. This boat was built to carry 2000 tons of freight, but
we don't carry much freight, so you can use the space if you like. Work
up new routines, build props, whatever.
ADRIAN
Could we put our motorcycles in here?
NELSON
Yes, but you have to drain the gas from the tanks and store it in the fuel
room which is kept locked.
Why would you want to put them on board?
ADRIAN
We want to stay.... out of sight.
NELSON
Are you in some kind of trouble?
ADRIAN
We left that all behind.
The Captain eyes him suspiciously.
NELSON
Being a riverboat Captain was a dream I had since I was a boy. I grew up
along the river, got on as a crew member, worked my way up to pilot, but
riverboats were dinosaurs.
There were no Captain's jobs and Congress legislated these
things out for safety reasons like so much flotsam. It damn near killed
me, so I became a motorcycle cop. I never dreamed I would get this opportunity
again.
My point is, you either get on the river because you love
it, or you're hiding from something. I was a cop too long to believe you
suddenly fell in love with the river. What are you hiding?
ADRIAN
(Beat)
We had to leave the industry because arms dealers were after us. But I
wanted to leave it anyway.
NELSON
You're hiding from arms dealers?
Merciful God, I've traded organized crime for arms dealers.
This is a riverboat. We ease down the middle of the river driven by a paddlewheel,
like a sitting duck! We carry fifty crew members and hundreds of passengers.
Arms dealers could sink this entire boat with one round.
DINO
Sounds like destiny. You know, I've been studying this ancient Mayan calendar.
Destiny goes in cycles like this.
ADRIAN
You got that calendar in the mail with your picture on it. The only destiny
involved is that company taking your money.
DINO
That was a gift from my grandfather. He's a genuine Mayan - lives in
southern Mexico.
So, Captain, do you still want us?
NELSON
(Beat. Studies Adrian)
If I didn't know you....
Inside sources at the police department tell me that Zigler
Concessions got raided last week. The police had an undercover man in there
getting evidence.
ADRIAN
What is this Zigler supposedly doing?
NELSON
I don't know. But I suspect they're being controlled by organized crime,
and concessions could be their ticket to cocaine distribution on riverboats
- they can't get into our gambling so they want to get some piece of the
action.
ADRIAN
With your contacts in the department, can you get me hooked up with whoever
was working undercover?
NELSON
You don't know what you're asking. They don't tell who was working
undercover.
ADRIAN
Surely you have contacts you can trust in the department, men who respect
you, respected my father.
NELSON
I'll try. In the meantime, I have my
security people watching Zigler. There's a limo that visits there too
often.
ADRIAN
Have you run the tags through the police computer?
NELSON
If it's organized crime, they may have contacts in the department. Running
the tags might alert them. I need to keep us out of it.
ADRIAN
I'll find out who it belongs to.
Next: 4 Motive
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