PRIEST OF SALES
|Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1998, Dorian Scott Cole
INT. KENRICK'S OFFICE - DAY
Kenrick is seated behind his desk. Margo and TROY HAMMERSTEIN
are seated in front of the desk. Kenrick is holding a piece of paper.
Margo looks embarrassed.
I have here, Arabella's resignation.
I'll read it to you. Dear Mr.
Kenrick; I refuse to work for an
organization where you fuck your
way to the top. I quit. Arabella.
After the two leave, Kenrick presses the intercom.
She'll never work in Washington DC.
I believe this involves two of my
top people. I wanted to find out
from you if there is any truth to
it. Margo, you've been asking to
see me for a week.
The staff is becoming very
demoralized. Frankly everyone is
working way too much and tempers
are ready to flare.
Life is hard. Now about this
situation with Arabella, what do
Gina and Travis are seeing each
other. Everyone knows about it,
but they both claim it is only as
Well, are they friends or friends
I know for a fact they aren't
having sexual relations - and I
shouldn't tell you that because I'm
a doctor and I've been given their
But on the other hand, it looks
very suspicious. Even Tracy has
quit seeing Travis because she
thinks there is something between
them. But the fact is, they are
good for each other.
So I suppose Tracy is unhappy, too?
Where does this end? Gina can't
keep her personal life separate and
it tears Hell out of an organization.
Troy, I know you've only been
with us for a week, but as training
manager, you're in a position to
respond to these people.
I don't want to bite Gina, she
hired me, but I have to ask a
question. How can you expand
an organization and build it up if
your people are demoralized and
quitting? That's not a recipe for
growth, it's disaster - you could
end up with several clubs failing.
All right, all right, you make too
much sense. I can't afford to lose
my top people today. I'll talk to
them. You two go on, I have other
problems to solve.
Janet, remind me to not make any
more rules, people just break them.
Send Jordan Wells in please.
Jordan Wells enters. Kenrick waves him to a chair.
Kenrick hands him a piece of paper.
Profits are way down, Jordan. Now
Kenrick hands him another piece of paper.
Arabella? I'm really sorry to
lose her, she had a whale of a lot
We're losing control here, Jordan.
She's going to the competition.
Kenrick hands him a paper sword.
That came yesterday. Competition
is opening a club in the same town.
Competition's advertising looks
really sharp. It's intensive. They
offer a package that cuts our price
by twenty five percent.
I know you know. If you couldn't
keep track of the competition, I
wouldn't have made you Director.
Question is, what are you doing
We can't put together the advertising
budget they have, but we're doing a
Hell of a job with alternatives.
Well, I think I know where we can
scrape up another fifty two thousand
for advertising. That's about what
your salary is, isn't it?
What are you saying?
Your responsible. You failed.
Jordan stands and walks toward the door.
The honorable thing to do is
fall on your sword.
Or be dishonorable and wait
until I reorganize you out if
you don't mind the uncomfortable
Jordan leaves and Kenrick presses the intercom.
I wouldn't want to get any blood
on your carpet.
Good luck, Jordan.
Janet, are Gina and Travis here yet?
They're in their offices.
Get them in here, please.
Gina and Travis are seated. Kenrick is pacing the floor.
Travis and Gina become very uncomfortable as Kenrick stares
Gina, help me understand something.
You and Mark shook this organization
like a leaf in a hail storm two
years ago. Didn't that little
experience make you the least bit
sensitive to mixing your personal
life with business?
Thanks to you two, I've lost
Arabella, John, and Jordan Wells.
My medical department and half the
organization are unhappy and ready
to quit. Now how am I supposed to
congratulate you two for this
You two want to fuck, you meet in
Mexico on the weekend -
We're not having relations.
But it looks to the entire world
like you are, and if that's what it
looks like then that's reality -
you're fucking and it's come to my
INT. LOUNGE - NIGHT
You're two of my best people. I
can't afford to lose either one of
you, so my problem is, what do I
do? I can't trust either of you
to be discreet, so this is the way
it's going to be.
Forget your personal life, we're
losing our clubs. I'm giving both
of you Jordan's workload. You both
pick up your own advertising and
budgeting responsibilities. If you
get a moment of free time, let me
know and I'll find a way to fill it.
Now get out of my office before I
do what I should and fire both of
Travis is sitting in a booth alone, in a nearly empty
bar, mumbling to the wall. A waiter walks over to him carrying a bottle
on a tray.
Travis reaches for the bottle. The waiter holds it back.
Look, Buddy, you want to drown
yourself, there's a faster way to
do it than one drink at a time.
Travis is still reaching for the bottle.
Do you have a ride home?
I'm shtayin' up stairs.... maybe.
I have to know for sure. It's the
The bartender/waiter beckons for the keys. Travis puts them
on the tray and takes the beer and immediately takes a big drink. The waiter
Yeah, yeah. I'll be good, I won't
get you in trouble.
See, I'm sober.
You're so smashed you're already
unsafe. Give me your keys.
Give me the beer. Even trade. And
don't forget the shot of whiskey.
The waiter goes to a woman sitting on a bar stool. She is
dressed in a scanty evening gown. She is a hooker looking for a trick,
but not blatantly. The waiter points to Travis, holds up his keys and pockets
them. The woman looks around the bar, seeing no one, checks the time, shrugs
and walks over to Travis.
And so, Mr. Kenrick. I keep seeing
you go in the rest room. I know
what you do in there. Perception
is reality. You're jacking off.
Six times a day, you do it. I think
I'll tell everyone I know. Maybe
you should fire yourself. Personal
sex with company property.
Travis' head wobbles around to see her. He seems to like
what he sees and stabilizes his head with one hand. He waves her to a seat
with the other hand, spilling beer all over the table. The woman winces
and sits down.
Mind if I join you?
She wipes the beer from the seat and the table.
If you don't mind two of me. I'm
seeing double, you know, and two of
you is delightful.
She is resting her chin on her crossed hands, staring at
As alone as I can get. My girl
friend left me. My boss won't let
me see my other girl and he
threatened to fire me if I stayed
in his office even a minute longer.
Three people quit because of me and
the rest hate my guts.
What did you do?
I'm not telling you. You'll hate
I won't hate you. Whatever it is
you've done doesn't affect me.
Oh, well, you're OK then. Well,
you see, I was too good. I was the
best sales person and the best
manager, and the best in bed. So I
was like a god, so they hate me.
You see, if you become like a
god, you have to be very careful
what you do, because they're all
watching you to see if you screw up.
You see, people don't like you
if you're too good. They're
You see, they're just peons and
if you let them know that then they
think you stink because you're too
Travis smiles at her and passes out on the table. The woman
shakes him awake. With his chin on the table he peers at her.
Just what is it you do?
I'm in a glamour profession. I
set up glamour clubs and I'm the
manager and I guess a director.
Wow. I would like to do something
like that. Why don't I take you
upstairs, we can have some more
drinks and you can tell me more.
Wait. I think I might still be
Can I chase you?
They walk toward the door, the woman supporting him.
Do I know you? Oh, yeah, you're
that delicious lady that was here
before I dozed off. What we're
we talking about? Oh, yeah, you're
to be in sales. I'm tired. I work
twenty hours a day and now I have
to work twenty four. My girl
friend, the one I can't see
anymore, is a priest. We do
mystical things together.
So, are we going upstairs or not?
I got that far already? I forgot.
Yeah, if I already arranged it,
let's just do it.
The bartender takes the car keys to the lobby.
You don't think I'm too drunk?
We can find out.
I never leave a woman unsatisfied.
I can't wait.
INT. GINA'S OFFICE - DAY
Gina hurriedly picks up papers from the desk, then her
jacket from a hanger, and heads for the door. Travis walks in.
Gina touches his arm, they exchange smiles and she leaves.
We thought you we're gone for good.
It's been three days.
I was sick. Couldn't see a thing,
hardly know where I've been.
Three day drunks are like that.
What was her name?
I don't know. France, Francine,
something like that.
I don't think we should talk. I
think we should just.... cool it.
Frankly, it was too hot for me to
Yeah, hey, look, I want to apologize.
What for, being my friend? No one
has to apologize for that.
You helped me a lot, Gina. It's
thanks to you I still have a job
instead of a problem. But you know,
I let it go to my head.
Don't we all.
No, you don't. And you tried to
tell me but I wouldn't listen. I
thought once I got a handle on my
self esteem, all I had to do was
build it. What a fool!
I let my pride just swell up
like a monster, and I pissed off
Arabella, and probably John, and
who knows who all - and then I even
destroyed myself. Here I am ignoring
an important job and coming in off
a three day drunk with a hooker.
I spent most of the last three
days blaming all of them. Today I
woke up and realized it was me.
All I ever did for them is try to
make them realize how great I am.
Well, now we all know.
Don't blame yourself too much, I
shook the branches once again.
Hey, you know what? You pump
that ego balloon up, there's always
something going to come along and
pop it. So don't worry, it will
never lift any of us off the
ESTABLISH SHOT: BEAU MONDE OF NICHOLASVILLE
INT. MARK'S BEAU MONDE CLUB - DAY
Mark is in the beauty salon looking at a broken chair.
Travis walks in.
Mark shuts the switch off and shrugs. He turns and sees Travis.
This is three failures in three
weeks. Things are falling apart
around here. Order another one.
Mark leads through the atrium toward his office.
OK, so now I've seen a ghost.
What's next, God?
Just don't call me love.
How have you been?
I'm more tired than I've been in
all my life. I feel sick. My
joints are getting stiff. My
muscles hurt. My brain feels like
its dead - I just can't think.
Have you seen a doctor?
Yep. Nothing is internally wrong.
But everything is wrong. So, aren't
you glad you asked?
Mark, I want to help. What can I do?
You know as well as I do that no
one stays in this organization past
thirty. You live to be thirty and
you die, that's it. I'm four years
past dead now, so I'm living on
You're a good manager, Mark. Have
you considered depression, burnout?
Yes, but they don't appeal to me,
it's enough just being worked to
Travis starts to reply, but Mark holds up his hand.
Travis, you're almost my age, and
here you are finding new mountains
to climb. For me it's different,
what do I have to look forward to?
Mark dismisses that comment with a wave of his hand.
You see, I've already had the best.
Now what is there?! You know, I've
had a really great career in a
glamour industry. I slept with the
best woman on earth. And now, it's
fading away from me.
I know, you're going to say I
can still go into science. That's
B.S. My brain has turned to
cement. I don't have it anymore.
Mark, you talk like your eighty
years old - maybe a hundred. You
need a sabbatical - time to rest and
put yourself together again.
Is that what you came to tell me?
You're putting me on sabbatical.
NO! Damn it, Mark, I'm here to
try and patch up whatever friendship
we can save. For the last time,
I'm not Gina's lover, I've never
slept with the woman, and I can't
even see her now. If I'm somehow
making you depressed, forget it.
Mark opens his mouth to speak, but the words won't come.
Hewaits a moment.
I'm losing sales. Things get worse
every day. I'm fighting for my
life here, and I'm losing.
I never slept with her.
It makes you feel good to be on top,
doesn't it? To have it all. To be
just a little better than everyone
else. You and I, we're both the
same, we're not really any different.
I know, because that's the way I
was thinking. And it feels bad to
lose it, doesn't it?
You know it.
Maybe that's something we can't
change in ourselves. But I'm trying.
Because I realized, I'm not any
better than anyone else. You and I,
we each have our roles.
That's easy to say. You haven't
lost Gina yet.
I never really had Gina. She's her
own. She chooses not to allow sex
to dominate her life.
Gina is beyond me to understand.
It's true, anyway.
Suppose it is true, where does
that leave me? What the Hell do I
have to live for?
If you're looking for mountains,
maybe on the plains. I don't know,
I still think that's up to you.
It's hard to live without mountains.
To never be able to stand at the
top and see everything in all
Gina and I both have big mountain
ranges we're working on. Both of
us need people like yourself who
can climb a mountain. If you're
I've been King. I don't know if I
want to be King's adviser.
Mark, stop. You've turned an
opportunity into a negative.
You're right, Mark, maybe I can't
find a bigger mountain for you to
climb. I can't make a scientist of
you. I can't put you and Gina
together again. Maybe you can't
do it either. But somehow I have
to believe that your life isn't over
any more than it is for any of the
rest of us. Mountaintop experiences
only last for a few moments. Life
goes on. We have things we are
interested in to explore. We have
friends who care about us and depend
on us - relationships that we need
to nurture and build. We have
roles in life that are probably
much more important than mountain-
tops. The mountaintops probably
dwarf in comparison. The quality
of our lives isn't in the goals we
set or in the mountains, but in
living our lives, living moment to
moment and enjoying everything that
comes into our lives. Doing the
most with those things. When we
look back at our lives, are you or
I going to feel better that we set
a new sales record or designed a
Mark, I think you have the people
and things around you to make your
Mark gives Travis a friendly punch on the shoulder.
You're right. I wish I had seen
it myself, but you're right. I've
been too resentful over what I've
lost to see what I've gained. It's
hard when you've been blinded by
the glitter at the top.
Next: 9 Crisis
We need you. If it would make you
happy, Mark, come help us expand.
It would keep you busy and out of
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