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3
PRIEST OF SALES
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1998, Dorian Scott Cole
The Problems
 

 

INT. MARGO'S OFFICE - DAY

Travis enters the office. Margo and Tracy are putting away a box of supplies. Travis has a new fashionable suit and has a new hair style.
 
 

MARGO
Travis! Here for your facial?
Travis nods.
 
 
TRAVIS
Margo. Hi, Tracy.
TRACY
Hi.
MARGO
I was hoping you would come. How 

do you like the new job?

TRAVIS
Gina streaks around the world like

a comet - Eight a.m. to ten p.m.

Where does she get the energy?

MARGO
She calls it a race, you know. The

sales race.

Have a seat and Tracy will get you
started. I'll come back in a minute

and I'll tell you a little about

Gina.

Margo takes the half full box out of the room. Travis sits in a beauty chair and Tracy brings a wet pad and gently begins to cleanse his face. Travis smiles at her.
 
 

TRAVIS
You're very gentle with that.
TRACY
Pulling on the skin makes it sag.

I like your hair. It looks very

masculine, like clumps of rope, 

but very stylish.

Tracy takes mud and begins to smear it on his face, enjoying it.
 
 

TRACY
You have a nice face. Firm. 

sculpted. Good strong chin. 

Prominent Roman nose.

She dabs mud on the end of his nose and they laugh.
 
 

TRAVIS
Are you single? Committed?

Tracy shakes her head.
 
 

TRACY
I like my freedom.
TRAVIS
Do you like to eat out?
TRACY
Sure.
TRAVIS
Would you have dinner with me 

tonight?

TRACY
What? With someone with mud on 

his nose?

Tracy hands Travis a towel.
 
 
TRAVIS
Seven? That is if Gina gets us 

back in town early enough.
 
 

TRACY
I won't hold my breath. 

There, we'll let that dry.
 
 

Tracy washes her hands and Margo re-enters and puts a fewremaining products away.
 
MARGO
Oily complexion, like yours, you 

need to steam it once or twice a

day. Come here for a facial twice

a week. Don't worry about the cost,

they're free.
 
 

TRAVIS
Sounds like a nice offer, but I'll 

be lucky to make it here once a 

month.
 
 

MARGO
Well, at least once a week.

Now, about Gina. Have you noticed

anything different about her now 

that you're traveling with her?
 
 

TRAVIS
Was I supposed to?
 
 
MARGO
Everyone who travels with her 

notices sooner or later. She's a

special person.
 
 

TRAVIS
Special. That means you're going 

to tell me something is wrong with 

her.
 
 

MARGO
No, I mean special. What happens if

you shake up a can of cola?
 
 

TRAVIS
It fizzes.
 
 
MARGO
That's Gina's chemistry. She fizzes

a lot. I think her brain, the 

hippocampus, the seat of emotion, 

isn't restrained. That's Gina, 

unrestrained. Her endorphins

probably keep her that way.
 
 

TRAVIS
I don't understand all that medical

stuff. What are you trying to say?
 
 

MARGO
Gina is ... excitable. She gets

euphoric, sometimes goes into a 

trance. Sometimes with other people.
 
 

TRAVIS
She ever do this while she's driving?
 
 
MARGO
No, she controls it. Just don't 

put her in a hot tub.
 
 

TRAVIS
Don't put her in water, don't feed

her after midnight?
 
 

Margo smacks him with mock reproach.
TRAVIS
So something is wrong with her brain?
MARGO
Nothing is wrong with her! It's her mind that keeps her high as a kite.

Let me explain it this way, honey. What happens if you don't shake a can of cola?

TRAVIS
Nothing.
MARGO
It doesn't fizz. Just like you and me, we don't fizz. But maybe we could if we knew how to get shook up.

I think she knows something we mere mortals are missing.
 
 

INT. QUIET BAR - NIGHT

The bar is dimly lit. Travis and Tracy are seated in an intimate booth sharing a giant Margarita and nibbling on an appetizer.

TRAVIS
We're going to have to find better places to meet.
TRACY
You just want to get me in bed.
TRAVIS
You sound like you believe that.
TRACY
I do. You're no different than any other man.
TRAVIS
Believe me, if that's all I wanted, I would have made my move.
TRACY
If you had made your move, you wouldn't be seeing me.
TRAVIS
Touche. Let's not spar, I like you too much.
TRACY
Isn't there any way around this rule Kenrick has about employees not dating?
 

TRAVIS

That rule hasn't been tested. But

you're worth the risk.

 

TRACY

You sure know the right lines. 

Hey, I have to go. Will you have

dinner here tomorrow night?

 

TRAVIS

Tomorrow, yes. Next day, no, I'm

traveling.

 

TRACY

Rats. Never enough time.

Tracy rises and kisses him on the cheek. Travis pulls her closeruntil she is on his lap. They embrace and kiss passionately. The bartender watches. 

TRACY
Bye.
Tracy leaves. Travis turns and watches her as she goes out thedoor, then stares into the drink. The bartender walks over.
BARTENDER
Nice lady. Anything else I can get

for you?

 

TRAVIS

Get that little lady to marry me 

and I'll never need another thing.

 

BARTENDER

That's what they all say until they

need a divorce.

INT. GINA'S OFFICE - DAY

Gina is working on paperwork. 

PHONE RINGS. 

GINA
Beau Monde Enterprises, this is Gina.
 

ARABELLA

Gina, this is Arabella.
 

GINA

Hi, Arabella! How do you like 

running a club?

 

ARABELLA

Fantastic!
 

GINA

You were lucky getting Travis' club.

He had the most profitable club 

around.

 

ARABELLA

Speaking of Travis, there is 

something I think you should know.
 
 

GINA
OK, what's up?
 

ARABELLA

He seems to have seduced a number 

of women here. I think you might 

have a problem.

 

GINA

What do you mean seduced? Did he

ask them for a date?

 

ARABELLA

It's hard to describe. They go down

willingly, but its a hard fall. I'm

a little short on details but so 

far I've had three women in here 

looking for him, and they're not

friendly - they make threats.

 

GINA

OK, I'll check into it.

Gina hangs up the phone and it rings again. She sees it isinternal.

 

GINA

Gina.
 

MARGO

I need to see you.
 

GINA

I hope this is good news. I

didn't sleep a wink last night

and I just got a bad report on 

Travis.
 
 

MARGO
I wish it was good.
 

GINA

I'll be right down.

INT. MARGO'S OFFICE - DAY

Margo is checking a spot on a woman's cheek. Gina enters.

MARGO
No, it's not cancer, just dry skin.
 
 
WOMAN
But I have oily skin. I have to 

powder my nose.
 
 

MARGO
Most skin has dry spots. Use a

moisturizer on it and avoid anything

that will dry it.

The woman leaves. 
GINA
Hi.
 
 
MARGO
There are rumors flying everywhere

that Travis is into seducing women.
 
 

GINA
Oh, why now!?

What do they mean by seducing?
 
 

MARGO
It means he's taking women to bed 

and there's no depth to the 

relationship. 
 
 

GINA
Well, is he raping them? Can't they 

say no? 
 
 

MARGO
No, frankly, they can't say no. 

But don't overlook the real point. 
 
 

GINA
I don't want to see the point. 
But you're right, I'll talk to him
about it.
 
 
MARGO
I think you're going to have to do

more than talk.

INT. GINA'S OFFICE - DAY

Gina rushes in and gets on the phone. Jordan Wells appears in the doorway.
 
 

GINA
Travis, this is Gina. Give me a

call in the office when you can. I

need to see you, preferably today.
 
 

JORDAN
Kenrick wants to see you. If you 

have this months sales reports, 

better take them. The golden goose 

is laying fools gold.

INT. KENRICK'S OFFICE - DAY

Kenrick is watering his plants when Gina enters. He invites her to a seat and sits behind his desk.

KENRICK
Profits are way down, Gina. Way, 

way down. I want to hear the story 

from the front line.

 

GINA

We're having more problem than we

have ever had getting members - 

especially male members. The 

managers are working their tales 

off recruiting and doing promotions. 

Our sales people can't make enough 

sales to make a living and they 

quit. When one quits, they all 

quit, then we have no sales. It's 

a nightmare.
 
 

KENRICK
What are you doing about it?
 
 
GINA
Everything I can. Recruiting, 

promoting, pumping people up. You

know we've seen this slide grow

over the last two years. I'm not

sure we can stay at the levels we

were. Men have lost interest - 

their off to some new toy.
 
 

KENRICK
That's right, and long term we're

going into new ventures. But 

seemingly overnight this business

is in crisis. We're about to lose

our ass before we can get these

other businesses established. We

can't do this, we'll go under. 

This is Gina's responsibility, 

and the question is, is Gina doing 

the right things?
 
 

GINA
Jordan and I have put together 

plan after plan and put them in 

effect. We have several more on

the table, some are just waiting 

for research. Jordan is putting

together a plan based on midlife 

crisis and he is grinding out

advertising as fast as he can.

I'm not psychic -

Kenrick holds up his hand, stopping her. He rises and walksaround.
 

KENRICK

A little reality here. When things

aren't working, you find the new

direction and make it work. If you

can't then I'll have to find 

someone who can. I can't let this

whole damned business go down the 

tubes while Gina plods along business 

as usual. It's a crisis - you have

to react quickly. 
 
 

Kenrick is behind her. He shouts in her ear.
 
KENRICK (Cont.)
Ten sharks are on our tale - 

swim like Hell for safety!

(Beat)
Understand?

What happened to you? Five years

ago you were so spontaneous. You

could think on your feet and make

instant decisions that were right

on. Is your energy gone? Have you

lost interest?
 
 

GINA
(Angry)
I'm doing ten times as much as I did

five years ago. The only way to 

cope is to be organized.

Kenrick shakes his head at her.
 
 

KENRICK
You're ten times as capable as you 

were five years ago. You can't 

slide by on your looks in this 

business. Give it some thought; I 

may have to find someone else. 

In the meantime, since you are

plodding along, I'll make some 

decisions to help you along. Are 

Travis' sales good?
 
 

GINA
Yes, but - 
 
 
KENRICK
See, there you go with the buts, 

second guessing in a crisis. I'm

making him Sales Supervisor. Still

under you. He'll pick up part of

your responsibilities so you can

get to work on saving our ship.

INT. OFFICE CORRIDOR - DAY

Gina leaves the office, angrily walking down the hall toward heroffice.
 
 

GINA
S.O.S!

S.O. Fucking S!
 
 

Jordan hears her pass by and catches her.
 
JORDAN
Rough meeting?
 
 
GINA
He's been reading that one minute

thing again. After thirty seconds

of being chewed out the only thing

on my mind is shoving that sucker

for one full minute.

(Beat)
Jordan, he scares me. 

Jordan gives her a hug.
 
 

JORDAN
Kenrick's like a kidney stone - it 

only hurts till it passes.
 
 

GINA
Any cure for him?
 
 
JORDAN
Take lots of Vitamin C.

Gina laughs. She peeks in her office, sees Travis, 
smiles and waves.
 
 

GINA
Be with you in a minute.
(Privately to Jordan)
Travis. Not a minute's peace.
She walks down the hall the other way and goes in the bathroom.
 
 

INT. GINA'S OFFICE - DAY

Gina enters her office. Travis is sitting in front of her desk. She stands in front of him.
 
 

GINA
I got reports today that you 

seduced women at your club. What is

going on?

Travis looks down. Gina rises and walks toward 
him.
 
 

GINA
Travis, remember, no lies, keep it

open.
 
 

TRAVIS
Well, I admit -
 
 
Gina takes his face in her hands and makes him look at her face.
 
GINA
Travis! Lay it out plain and simple.

Gina stays quiet, making him reveal it all.
 
 

TRAVIS
I seduced some of them. 
(Beat, beat)
I've.... got this thing going with

Tracy - you won't do anything to 

her, will you? Please? 

(Beat, beat)
I got fired from my last job for

seducing the boss's daughter.

(Beat)
And I think I'm in love.... with you.
Gina looks at him with her mouth open for several seconds and finally begins snickering, then laughing.
GINA
Tracy and me. Just two weeks?
 
 
TRAVIS
(Smiles)
Actually a week.

They both laugh, with Gina shaking her head in disbelief.

 
TRAVIS
I'll just pack my bags and go.

Gina nods. Travis goes out the door with Gina watching. After amoment, Gina goes to the door.

 
GINA
Travis. Come here.
 
 
Travis comes back in the room. Gina pushes him into a chair.
 
GINA
Stay here a moment, I'll be back.

INT. MARGO'S OFFICE - DAY

Margo is counting pills into a bottle. She smiles at Gina as sheenters and continues counting. Gina checks the doors for otherpeople and closes the doors.

 
MARGO
Vitamin E supplements. Essential 

for skin and sex - we're out.

What's up?

Gina sits on the counter next to Margo.
 
 
GINA
You were right about Travis. He

seduces them; said so himself. He

got fired from his last job because

of it. The boss's daughter, no 

less. He doesn't care who it is. 

And he's seeing someone right in

this building.
 
 

MARGO
Who?
 
 
GINA
Believe me, you don't want to know.
 
 
MARGO
I love it when people give me a 

mystery. Shouldn't take longer 

than say, oh, two days to figure 

that one out.
 
 

GINA
It's Tracy.
 
 
MARGO
I saw the chemistry there. 

Did he seduce her?
 
 

GINA
No. They seem to have a

relationship.
 
 

MARGO
Did you fire him?
 
 
GINA
He's sitting in my office. It 

just got complicated. Kenrick 

promoted Travis before I could stop 

him.
 
 

MARGO
Go explain it to him.
 
 
GINA
Kenrick's really on the warpath. I 

don't want to get within a hundred 

feet of him.
 
 

MARGO
Not exactly a realistic approach.
 
 
GINA
Margo, what would make a man seduce

women like that?
 
 

MARGO
Could be a lot of reasons. Why?

You're not thinking of keeping him

are you? He won't stop.
 
 

GINA
I'm trying to sort it out. I have

a commitment to him. You like to 

make people beautiful, I like to 

make them successful. But.....
 
 

MARGO
Honey, get out of your trance and 

wake up. You know what a problem

person does to the organization. He

will take five times the amount of

your time a normal person does. Do

you have that kind of time? And he 

will upset everyone. We don't need

any of that. You have the goods 

on him, boot him out the door.
 
 

GINA
I should.
 
 
MARGO
Oh, damn, that means you won't.

Gina the man needs therapy. Years

of it.
 
 

GINA
What would the problem be?

Too much testosterone?
 
 

MARGO
What have you got, a Messiah complex?

You gonna' try and save the world?

(Beat)
It's extremely unlikely it's physical.

It's his mind.
 
 

GINA
I can give him a chance to fix it. 

Replacing him would take me weeks....

months to get a replacement doing 

as well as Travis is now. I don't 

have that kind of time - Kenrick

would....
 
 

MARGO
You don't have the time for Travis.

What are you doing this for?
 
 

GINA
I don't know. Maybe for Mark.
 
 
MARGO
You've done enough for Mark: you 

saved his job.
 
 

GINA
Maybe this is for me.
 
 
MARGO
Are you masochistic? 
 
 
GINA
Thanks, Margo.
Gina happily jumps off the counter and leaves.
 
MARGO
(Shouts after her)
You're hopeless!
(To self)
This company doesn't deserve you.

INT. GINA'S OFFICE - DAY

Gina enters her office, her usual smile is gone. Travis is sitting glumly in a chair. Gina sits in the chair beside him.

GINA
Whatever your problem is, I don't

know much about it. I told you 

when I hired you, if you did your

best, I would do mine. 

I didn't think it would come to 
something like this!
(Beat)
But I don't have many good choices. 
 
 
TRAVIS
Whew! I thought you were rounding 

up some women to beat me up.
 
 

GINA
I've had a long day, Travis, and

it's only noon, so bear with me.

Do you have any idea how wrong it

is, what you've been doing?

Travis nods, then shakes his head.
 
 

GINA
If you go to therapy, it may take

five years to put you right, and 

often as not it doesn't work. And

we can't have a five year risk on

our hands. I'm going to give you

a month. That's it. 
 
 

TRAVIS
Look, Gina, you're too nice to do

this to. I'd love to hang around

for a month and maybe seduce you,

too. Do you know what I'm saying?
 
 

GINA
If you're willing to work on it, 

together we can beat this.

(Beat)
TRAVIS
What are you, a priest?
 
 
GINA
(Sarcastic)
Yeah, Priestess of Sales. A very

appropriate title.

INT. MARGO'S OFFICE - DAY

Margo is pulling files from a filing cabinet. Tracy enters the office and puts some exercise clothing away.

MARGO
(Unsympathetic)
Your boyfriend has a problem.
Tracy looks at her blankly.
MARGO
We know you've been seeing Travis.

You're not fired.

Tracy slumps into a chair and stares at the floor.
 

TRACY

What is his problem?
MARGO
He seduces women. He may be seeing

you regularly, but he gets a couple

of other women a week. 

(Beat)
TRACY
They're all the fucking same aren't

they. I should have known. He

seemed so nice.

Margo's heart melts and she goes to her. 
 
 
MARGO
No, they're not all the same. 

And Travis has a problem. Maybe

it can be fixed.

TRACY
Yeah, right. When turkeys fly.
Travis enters. He takes a look at both women and realizes whatis going on. Tracy and he exchange pained glances and she hurries out past him, almost knocking him over.
 
 
MARGO
Do you have any idea what you've 

done?

Travis looks helplessly after Tracy.
 
TRAVIS
Look, Gina gave me a month.
 
MARGO
A month and you're out?
 
TRAVIS
No, a month to fix it.
MARGO
You probably have no idea how 

lucky you are to have someone like

Gina pulling for you.

 
TRAVIS
Yes, I do, and I want some help, 

Margo. I like this job. I like the

people. I want to beat this. 

You're a physician, can you help me?

 
MARGO
Not likely. I doubt it's a physical

problem. Only someone like Gina 

can help you with your mind -

and that's a slim chance. You had

better see a psychiatrist.

 
TRAVIS
Please. They give smokers some 

kind of nicotine replacement to

help them quit.

MARGO
There's no replacement for sex.
(Beat)
All right, what the Hell. I can

prescribe a testosterone blocker.

It won't stop you, but maybe it

will slow you down.

Next: 4 The Challenges


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