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7
PRIEST OF SALES
*Dynamic page: subject to change
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1998, Dorian Scott Cole
Desperation & Despair
 
 
 
 
INT. MARGO'S OFFICE - DAY

Margo is at her desk doing paperwork. Gina knocks and enters.

 
GINA
Hi.
 
 
MARGO
Good morning, Gina. What brings 

you here so early?
 
 

GINA
Personal problem. I could use 

some professional advice.
 
 

MARGO
Travis?
 
 
GINA
Me.
 
 
MARGO
Tell me about it.
 
 
GINA
I'm having a lot of feelings I can't

handle. I'm afraid sex is going to

start interfering again.

Margo is not surprised. She smiles knowingly.
 
GINA
I know, I know, this just proves 

your theory that I have to have 

sex. Margo, I want some help.
 
 

MARGO
What if I gave you help? It 

wouldn't work; Travis is proof of

that.
 
 

GINA
But isn't there a pill you can 

give me, or maybe some little cut *

you could make?

* This idea and section are in here for educational reasons - due to the routine mutilation of women in some cultures, which is pointless since it will have little effect.
MARGO
Shave your head.
 
 
GINA
What?
 
 
MARGO
That's where I would have to cut.

Little cut sounds like some madness

out of Persia. You don't understand 

the magnitude of the problem. 

Gina, picture for a minute the

male sex organ. For everything he

has there, you have tissue that 

corresponds; most of it hidden 

beneath the skin, full of nerves, 

responding, engorging - just like 

his. 
 
 

GINA
But can't you do something 

somewhere? This is driving me crazy.
 
 

MARGO
It all responds to your brain.

If your brain tells it to work, it

does. Your brain is your biggest 

sex organ. If your brain tells it 

not to work, it doesn't. So I can't

make a little cut and solve the 

problem. Do you want me to remove 

your brain?
 
 

GINA
So, what you're saying is you can't

give me any help?
 
 

MARGO
Yes, I can. Human beings are 

sexual by nature. I believe God 

made us this way. The question is 

why are you having to fight it so 

hard?
 
 

INT. KENRICK'S OFFICE - DAY

Kenrick is seated behind his desk. Gina and Travis are seated in front of it. 

 
GINA
Success in every one of these towns

has been overwhelming. I've beefed

up training, but at this rate, I'll

need a manager just to keep up with

staff hiring and training. I think 

if we wait to go nationwide with 

this, the competition is going to 

clamp onto this like a lobster.

And most of it is due to Travis.

He can't quit selling.
 
 

KENRICK
Travis, do you want to dispute any

of this?
 
 

Travis smiles and shake his head.
 
KENRICK
How would you feel about managing

this venture yourself? You would

staff and train your sales people 

and I could get Gina going on other

projects.
 
 

TRAVIS
I would like that very much.
 
 
KENRICK
Then it's done. Good work.

And as for you, Gina, you've

outdone yourself. 
 
 

GINA
Thank-you.
 
 
KENRICK
I knew you had it in you. For your

reward, I have a new assignment for 

you. Nightclubs. I think we'll

sell product there. Think you can

handle that?
 
 

GINA
That sounds like fun! I'll find 

time.
 
 

KENRICK
And, I want you to coordinate all 

these businesses.
 
 

GINA
What about Jordan Wells?
 
 
KENRICK
Jordan has his hands full keeping

the clubs afloat. 
 
 

GINA
Well. 
(Shrugs)
I'll find time.
 
 
KENRICK
I knew I could count on you.
 
 
ESTABLISH SHOT: BEAU MONDE OF PETERSBURG

INT. ARABELLA'S BEAU MONDE CLUB - DAY

Arabella is watching through the observation window into thedancercize room where Tracy is explaining a muscle workout to the instructor. Arabella is copying the movements. Arabella sees Travis enter the Atrium. She goes to meet him.

 
ARABELLA
Travis! Nice to see you. What 

brings you back to your old stomping

grounds? Missing the old place?
 
 

TRAVIS
Too busy for that. Nice to see you,

Arabella. How is it going?
 
 

ARABELLA
As if you didn't know. We're still

tops financially, and still way ahead 

of my old boss, Mark.
 
 

TRAVIS
Be sure and mention that to him. A

little competition wouldn't do him

any harm.
 
 

ARABELLA
So, what's up?
 
 
TRAVIS
Gina asked me to drop off some new

promotional material, since I

was driving through the area.
 
 

ARABELLA
What's the matter with Gina?
 
 
TRAVIS
She has a new project.
 
 
ARABELLA
A new one! What is it?
 
 
TRAVIS
I'll have to let her announce it

herself.
 
 

ARABELLA
Oh, come on, Travis. You know how

it is for us little people; we hang

on every rumor. 

Travis shakes his head and Arabella looks disappointed.
 
TRAVIS
Be sure to get these up today.
 
 
ARABELLA
Today's Friday. I'm taking a good

weekend off, and I'll get them up

Monday.
 
 

TRAVIS
You're going to miss our best sales

days? Come on, Arabella, where's 

your head?
 
 

ARABELLA
Travis, you know how it is out here.

You're beginning to talk like a 

manager. Give me a break!
 
 

TRAVIS
I am a manager. I was promoted to

National Manager yesterday. The 

announcement is in the mail. But 

you don't have to be a manager to 

know the business is failing and we

need all the sales we can get.

Tracy enters the Atrium, unseen by Travis and Arabella. She stops and watches.
 
ARABELLA
I need the damned weekend. I'm not

some kind of machine!
 
 

TRAVIS
It doesn't take any time to put out

promotional material.
 
 

ARABELLA
By the time I get someone to come 

with a ladder and put wires from the

ceiling, I'm going to miss my ride.

They won't wait! I've had this trip

planned for weeks. 
 
 

TRAVIS
You're still wet behind the ears.

Your job has first priority. You 

want to make it in this company, 

you put the job first.
 
 

ARABELLA
Yeah? And just who do I have to 

sleep with to become manager?
 
 

TRAVIS
I'm not sleeping with Gina.
 
 
ARABELLA
Her closet is full of your clothes!
 
 
TRAVIS
We work closely together!
 
 
ARABELLA
In accounting, two and two still 

make four. I suppose in Beau Monde

it equals something else? You're 

not fooling anyone but yourself!

Tracy angrily forces her way past them toward the exit.
 
TRAVIS
(Calls after her)
Tracy!
(Turns to Arabella)
Now you've done it.
 
 
ARABELLA
Now you've done it.
Travis races after Tracy.
 
EXT. BEAU MONDE - DAY

Tracy hurries out the door and gets in her car as Travis comes out the door. She angrily drives past him without looking at him.

INT. MARGO'S SALON - DAY

Gina's dream. Travis is leaning back in a beauty chair, a white gown draped over his nude body. Margo is arranging surgical instruments on a tray at the chair side. Gina is sitting beside him, holding his hand. Kenrick is pacing back and forth. Wells is standing nearby, smugly waiting.

 
TRAVIS
Is this going to hurt?
 
 
MARGO
Only your pride.
 
 
KENRICK
Are you sure this will work?
 
 
MARGO
Always does. Takes that 

aggressiveness away. He won't tell

Arabella off again.
 
 

KENRICK
But I need him aggressive.
 
 
MARGO
He'll still have one left. And

you won't have to worry about him

seducing women anymore.

Margo raises the gown and begins to work.
 
KENRICK
Don't you need surgical gloves and

masks?
 
 

MARGO
Nah, I'll just do a simple 

beautification procedure. This will

make Travis a much nicer person.

Gina, hand me the hair remover.
 
 

Gina hands her a propane torch. Margo lights it and burns thehair off.
 
TRAVIS
I didn't know beauticians could do 

castrations.
 
 

MARGO
We didn't know you could cause all

the trouble you have caused.

Jordan, hand me the scissors.
 
 

TRAVIS
Aren't you going to make an incision?
 
 
MARGO
This is faster. One snip and it's

gone. Just a little cut for Gina, 

A little super glue and you're on 

your way. You won't bother Gina

anymore.
 
 

JORDAN
What are you going to do with his

nut?
 
 

KENRICK
It's medical waste. It has to be

disposed of.
 
 

MARGO
I'm doing a beauty procedure, 

remember. I'll probably put it in

a specimen jar and keep it on my

desk.
 
 

JORDAN
I want it. It will make an erotic

charm for my wife.
 
 

GINA
I need a trophy. I've resisted him

so far, so I need something to 

reward myself. 
 
 

KENRICK
It's a power symbol. It's mine.

Margo, pickle it and put it on my

desk. It will impress the Hell out

of everyone. 

Margo pulls out a small, oval, bluish white object. 
 
GINA
Now that's pretty. What should we

do with it?
 
 

Tracy walks in and looks at them. They all look at her. She begins to cry.
 
KENRICK
Oh, forget it. It has to be an

angry red meat to impress anyone.
 
 

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Gina races down the street for her church in her car. The big wooden front doors are chained closed. She bangs on them, but no one comes. 

 
GINA
Go ahead, hide from me. Laugh at me.
She sits down on the front steps and begins to quietly weep. A man walks down the sidewalk toward her and stands beside her, looking depressed.
 
MAN
Is it closed?
 
 
Gina nods.
 
MAN
You can never find a Church when you

need one? Mind if I sit by you? 

Misery loves company.
 
 

Gina makes room for him on the steps.
 
MAN
Do you mind if I talk. 
 
 
Gina shakes her head.
 
MAN
I'll take that as a go ahead, I'm

really desperate. I'm about

ready to leave my job. I'm so

fed up I don't know what to do. 

I'm.... a failure.
 
 

GINA
(Sullenly)
God doesn't create failures, just

people with oversize shirts. More

room for growth. Opportunities in

today's language. A Nun told me 

that. She was my best friend. The 

only person in school who could put 

up with me.
 
 

MAN
You sound like my therapist. 

Are you Catholic?
 
 

GINA
I went to a Catholic school.

My mother wouldn't let me go to 

public school. I'm Methodist, if I 

have to declare. 
 
 

MAN
I'm Episcopalian. 
 
 
GINA
Your problems sound worse than mine.

Why aren't you seeing your therapist?
 
 

MAN
What's a therapist good for? They

don't tell you what to do. 
 
 

GINA
Are they the world's policemen?
 
 
MAN
No. 
 
 
GINA
Are they fountains of wisdom?
 
 
MAN
(Laughs)
Who is?
 
 
GINA
If they take your pain and problems

away, can you still grow?
 
 

MAN
Well.... No.
 
 
GINA
Then how can they do more than help

you see your opportunities?
 
 

MAN
Well, what are you doing out here?
 
 
GINA
Looking for a fountain of wisdom 

who can tell me what to do and take

all my pain away.
 
 

MAN
Then we fools are in good company.

So what's troubling you?
 
 

GINA
I'm kind of a mystic, and I'm kind

of out on a limb, and I'm being 

driven crazy by lust, and I have 

this vision that I'm going bananas

trying to interpret, and I work at

this business that works everyone 

into the grave....
 
 

MAN
Whoa! I can't take all that in, 

especially in my state. Just what

was the final straw that drove you

to this door?
 
 

GINA
I think it was the lust. Yesterday 

I went to see a doctor to see if she

could do something - a pill, 

surgery, anything - to get me to 

quit climbing the walls for this 

guy I'm in love with, but can't

marry.

Then I had a dream and in it some

friends of mine and I cut a 

testicle off this guy. I want to 

stop this craziness and get on with 

my life. 
 
 

MAN
Are you going to stop being human?

I thought lust just came with the

territory.
 
 

GINA
Well, I suppose. But a couple of

years ago I lost it. I had a steamy

affair with a coworker and we 

ended up duking it out and shaking 

the company to its foundation.
 
 

MAN
What did you do about it?
 
 
GINA
I abstained. But I haven't 

abstained from men, just sex, and I

can't handle it.
 
 

MAN
So did you act responsibly?
 
 
GINA
I guess so. I thought so at the 

time.
 
 

MAN
What more can anyone ask?
 
 
GINA
But it doesn't seem right, it's 

such a big sacrifice.
 
 

MAN
Did someone make a law that when

you have to choose between two 

things you wouldn't have to 

sacrifice?
 
 

GINA
No. But I'm at the point I'm 

paralyzed. I can't function.
 
 

MAN
Then look for your opportunity.
 
 
GINA
What opportunity?
 
 
MAN
The one you told me about.

You find your own opportunities.
 
 

GINA
Oh, God! Caught in my own trap. 

It never ends!

Gina begins to sob and puts her head on her knees. The man patsher on the back.
 
MAN
Go ahead, you deserve a good cry.
 
 
When Gina looks up, she is smiling weakly, but the man is gone. She looks up and down the street for him.
 
GINA
(Shouts)
Hey, don't give up, you're a good

person.

(Weakly)
Oh, was this just another dream?
Next: 8 reality


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